


Mission Report # AF4927V

by eeearnest



Category: Naruto
Genre: 2017, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fluffy Cats, Mission Report, Week 1, adorableness, because receipts are important, kakasaku month, throwing iruka under the buss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeearnest/pseuds/eeearnest
Summary: "Yes," Tsunade said. "A fake marriage will do just the trick."Collaboration between myself and Lulu.





	Mission Report # AF4927V

Tsunade arched an eyebrow at the two scrolls that were laid at her desk.  They were the only mission reports left from the day.  During their short debriefing, Tsunade was pleased to hear of the mission’s success, but found the behavior of two of her best shinobi suspicious when they were delivering their report. 

Surely a fake marriage had not caused that much of a rift between Kakashi and Sakura?  Tsunade had made certain to only have a deadline one month.  She didn’t think they would be able to fake a relationship longer than that.

Reaching for her bottle of sake, Tsuande unfurled both reports and laid them side by side so she could compare the events at the same time.

 

Mission Report # AF4927V

Purpose of Mission: To convince ~~Ume~~ Lightning daimyo's daughter that prospective alliance marriage between she and Kakashi would be a bad idea.

Sub-mission: Suggest Iruka as a replacement.

Requirements: Pose as a married couple, convince the target by any means necessary.

Captain: Hatake Kakashi

Party Members: Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi

Location: Lightning Country, Daimyo's estate.

Rank: A

Deadline: September 7.

Today's Date: September 1st

Report:

Beginning of Mission, August 7th.

Kakashi and I left Konoha around 5 PM on August 7th. Two hours after projected leave time, thanks to Hatake's perpetual lateness. We set out to Lightning at normal speed.

Our path left Konoha to the North, we planned to head through the Country of Hot Springs, up through Frost and into Lightning. We expected the journey to take three days, 5 at most.

There was no unusual activity in the woods and we met no other person while we walked.

The first night we camped in a well wooded area, in the hollow of a few trees with plenty of cover should we be ambushed. The campsite was fairly close to the border of Country of Hot Springs. We decided to camp there because of a nearby stream, as well as the cool shade provided by the trees deep in the forest. I set a few traps just in case, a rope loop, as well as a few pitfalls. One at each entry to the camp, as well as a few just a bit further out. Kakashi fished a couple of small bass from the stream.

 We built a fire to cook on. Our meal was as follows: roasted fish from the stream, a few berries I made sure were edible, and rice. Our evening was spent discussing our plan of action. A few ideas were tossed around, mostly stupid and were thrown out. We decided to try and convince ~~Ume~~ that she and Kakashi would never work out based on a few major points. The obvious one, that Kakashi would already be married to me. Two, that we would be desperately in love and that nothing could break us apart, and lastly, to try and sense her personality type and what she was seeking in him as a husband, then make Kakashi out to be the very opposite.

Kakashi took the first watch, myself the second. No unusual noises or events occurred that during my watch or his.

We packed up camp and were back on the road by 8 AM. We did stop at the stream to fill our canteens. The weather was quite warm, so we decided to attempt to stay close to water if at all possible.

The second day we spent continuing our journey to Lightning and practicing our act. We stopped in the Yugakure, just to see if we could pass on our act. The country was known for its hot springs and thus very popular for travelers and tourists alike. If we could pass anywhere, this would be it.

~

Mission Report # AF4927V

Reporter: Hatake Kakashi

Mission: To dissuade Lightning’s daimyo from his intent of arranging a marriage between myself and his daughter without causing political ramifications. 

Participants: Myself and Haruno Sakura

Mission Start: August 7th

We departed Konoha for Lightning at sunset travelling at standard travelling pace four.  Our travel to Yugakure was uneventful.  

~~

~

Our first stop was at a small street vendor serving dango. The acting commenced. I had a hold of Kakashi's arm and gave him my sweetest impression of a girlfriend begging him for food without actually asking. He gave in with a small smile and bought one for each of us. I acted like this pleased me greatly. (To be perfectly honest I was VERY pleased at having gotten the stingy Hatake Kakashi to pay for my meal). We received many comments, and a high percentage were relationship inquiries. Some of the comments I can remember:

"Aw how long have you two been together?"

"Are you two on your honeymoon?"

"How sweet, treating your girl to a date... will you two being trying out the local springs?"

"Ah... young love."

 

~~

 

Upon arrival at Yugakure, we tested our falsified marriage with public displays of affection.  Playing the role of the doting husband, I purchased the following items for the mission:  six sticks of dango, three okonomiyaki, and one bento.  Receipts have been submitted to the reimbursement office.

~~

 

We found a small inn toward the outer edge of town. Kakashi reasoned it was so we could get out of town quicker with fewer distractions in the morning. At the front desk we went about purchasing a room. Playing my role, I smiled and put my arm around Kakashi's waist, then laid my head on his chest.  Our act was so successful; the owners gave us a free room.

We took our packs and found our room. As per protocol when staying in a hotel we searched for bugs or any sort of traps, poisons, or dangers before trusting the place. The room was a nicer one, with a large bed, extra amenities and a large bathroom.

As we were supposed to be mimicking a married couple, Kakashi decided it would be a good idea to get over any embarrassment at the other's nudity, especially in the hotel's private baths. We took a dip in the hot springs offered by the hotel. A few others were already there, so our act had to be on again. (This was in a mixed bath). I acted embarrassed and told Kakashi he had to turn around or I wouldn't get in. He obliged. (I swear I saw a nosebleed, but I resisted the urge to punch him through the fence.) We bathed and returned the room. I changed into a nightgown. Kakashi insisted on sleeping in just boxers. I tried to remind him that we, as ninja, always have the possibility of being attacked in the middle of the night and did he really want to be dressed in just boxers to fight? He took it as a challenge, and boasted that he could be dressed in as little as 20 seconds. I highly doubted this statement.

Kakashi kissed me before we went to sleep, part of the act. I responded that no one was there to see us. He just shook his head and brushed the hair out of my face, before whispering to me, “You never know who's watching."

I supposed he was right.

~~

Our pretense was successful and we caught the eye of the hotel owners who generously compensated our sleeping quarters.  Sakura and I continued practicing our deception.  Receipt for the bathrobe Sakura “permanently borrowed” from the hotel was submitted to the reimbursement office. 

~~

We slept from approximately 11:00 PM until 6:00 AM. We were ready to leave town by 8:00 AM. The innkeepers fed us a wonderful breakfast and we left somewhere closer to 9:30 AM. While walking on the road, we were mostly silent. I admit I was distracted by the kiss from the previous night. Kakashi read his book.

We crossed the border from Hot Water to Frost around 3:00 PM. The Country of Frost was fairly quick to pass through. The trees were fewer and farther between. Our goal was to reach Lightning by that night. We managed to cross into Lightning by 10:00 PM. Border patrol was waiting for us, and we were provided with an escort to the daimyo's estate. It was apparent they went all out in greeting us. We were ushered into a carriage and rode out the rest of the journey to the estate inside a carriage. Kakashi kept a constant watch outside while I gushed to the estate guard about Kakashi and our marriage. It was of my opinion that we should convince as many people as possible of our new marriage and it appeared to be working.    The guard paled upon hearing, muttering something about the daimyo. I was ecstatic at our success.

I gave him a nervous smile and held Kakashi's hand across the carriage from me. He winked at me and we watched the scenery outside the window together, wary of any attacks on the escort. The carriage was bound to catch attention should anyone see us. The view out the window was quite boring as we were traveling in the middle for the night at this point. The carriage stopped in the daimyo estate at 2:00 AM.

~~

Border Patrol was waiting as we neared the daimyo’s estate and they provided a carriage for the remainder of the way.  Aware of our observers, I held Sakura’s hand for the rest of our very slow travel to the estate.  We arrived at 2am.

~~

We were greeted by a valet and shown to our respective rooms. Kakashi and I agreed to sleep in respective rooms the first night, but to keep the act going that we would be 'caught' in each others' rooms during our stay.

~~

Sakura and I did not share sleeping quarters as it was the middle of the night upon arrival, but we made tentative plans to rectify the situation.

~~

In the morning, a servant roused me from sleep and I was directed to meet the group downstairs in the dining hall for a breakfast with the daimyo and his daughter. I dressed in one of the nicer outfits I had brought for our stay and joined everyone downstairs. Kakashi was wearing his typical clothing. This was his first step in the process of the mission to get Ume to reject him.

The daimyo was seated at the head of the long table, with his daughter directly to the right. Kakashi was seated across from ~~Ume~~ I sat beside him.

Their breakfast was simple yet elegant. Rice, miso soup, natto and tsukemono, along with a cup of steaming, hot green tea. I did not bother testing the food for poison, it would hardly be signaling of Konoha's trust in Lightning. The daimyo struck up an awkward conversation where he tried to inquire on Kakashi’s rumored marriage and offer his daughter as a suitable match, while ignoring that I was Kakashi’s wife.

Kakashi held my hand during the conversation.  It was rather nice and it helped calm my nerves.  Most of my concentration was going into being a convincing couple and I hadn't put too much thought into what we would do if the mission failed. I sincerely hoped we wouldn't have to explore that route. The daimyo looked then to his daughter and offered her to give Kakashi a tour of the castle grounds.  When I made to follow, the daimyo requested that I stay behind to speak to him

In an attempt of polite manners I agreed to his request. I knew this was just a ploy to draw Kakashi away and to give ~~Ume~~ alone time with him. Taking Kakashi's seat, I waited for the daimyo to speak. He took a long sip of tea and turned to me inquiring on the length of our marriage.  I responded to him that it was for a few months, but we had known each other for a long time beforehand.  After more small talk, it was obvious that the daimyo was just stalling to give Kakashi and Ume time alone together. 

~~

The following morning we were invited for breakfast with the daimyo and his daughter.  I followed his suggestion to walk with his daughter on the estate grounds, separating myself from Sakura.  Ume introduced herself, telling me of her passion towards children and cats.  I thank The Fifth that precautions are already in place to avoid an arranged marriage with her.

I knew that I will have to do everything possible to show that I am not only a taken man, but a man in love, I describe everything that I admire about Sakura.  It was fortuitous that she is my partner on this mission, the list is long.

~~

After a suitable enough time, I firmly told the daimyo that I was going to check on my husband.  He waved me off, and I quickly walked away to find Kakashi. I found a servant just outside of the dining room and asked him to escort me to Lady Ume and Kakashi. I was taken to a small area in the large gardens surrounding the building. Kakashi and Ume were nearby. I followed the sound of his voice, and her nasally laugh. It wasn't _unattractive_... it was just... a bit grating.

Kakashi looked up as soon I called his name and he immediately rose to greet me, suggesting that we take a tour of the Academy in Lighting.  The daimyo insisted that Ume come along with us to the Academy. We tried to insist that she needn't come, but he was relentless and she ended up coming along. To be honest we could have put up more of a fight, but we wanted Ume to be swayable to Iruka's case at this point.  A carriage was waiting for our use at the front gate.

During our ride to the Academy Kakashi continued to display small gestures to convey a relationship between us.  Kakashi squeezed my hand lightly, and smiled at me as I described our history with a few embellishments.  He was so convincing, I was almost fooled!

~~

I suggested that we go to the Academy in Lighting to get out of the estate and into the village.  Sakura was wearing the wedding ring that was provided on the mission, but giving her something more personal during our stay will help with the ruse.  The daimyo once again provided a carriage for transport.  Ume joined us on our journey to the village, her perfume was very heavy in the enclosed space, and I kept a firm grip on Sakura’s hand to avoid sneezing.  I was concerned that I may have bent the ring, but upon further examination there was no damage.

I suspect that Lightning’s daimyo has heavy investments in carriages.  Recommended:  further investigation on civilian transportation methods to increase village funds. 

~~

When we arrived at the Lightning Academy and it was immediately clear that the education received there was of a different quality than that of Konoha's Academy. The building was in good shape yes, but seemed.... _cold_. The three of us walked inside and met with the main teacher of the Academy.

He went over their teachings with us, presumably to show open trust between our countries. We nodded along, but if I am being perfectly honest, their curriculum was just not up to par. They desperately needed a solid teacher. Recognizing an opportunity, I leaned into Kakashi's ear to suggest Umino Iruka as a suitable replacement.

We toured the school grounds as we silently contemplated our sub-mission, unable to plan because of Ume’s presence.   

~~

While touring the Academy, Sakura suggested Umino Iruka as a suitable replacement.  He is valuable to the village because he is an excellent teacher, but not high-ranking enough to be privy to Konoha’s most dangerous secrets.  I agreed, and designate a sub-mission to arrange a marriage with Ume and Umino.

While everyone’s back was turned, I created a clone and headed to the village to purchase a piece of jewelry for Sakura.  I found an arm cuff that would suit her and purchased it ~~.  Receipt for purchase submitted for reimbursement.~~  

I return to the group right as they are about to climb in the carriage once more.

~~

During the carriage ride back, I decided to test the waters by mentioning Umino’s name, and Kakashi agreed that he would enjoying the challenge of working here.  Ume’s interested piqued when she learned he was a fellow shinobi, and I shared some of my personal stories of his supportive nature.  Kakashi put in a good word on his hard-working nature and loyalty.  I heard Ume whisper his name when the conversation stilled.

Upon our return to the daimyo's estate, Ume insisted that she would retire to her rooms for the afternoon. Kakashi and I were left with time for ourselves.  We could tell the seeds were already planted in Ume’s head, now it was only a matter of swaying her father.  During our conversation, we heard the sound of approaching footsteps . Kakashi pushed me up against a column at the turning of the hallway and kissed me. I reacted as a lover would, threading my fingers.

I am happy to report that Hatake Kakashi is an excellent kisser.  He uses just the right amount of tongue.

~~

We toured the Academy in Lightning and decided that Umino Iruka could be a possible substitute for our alliance.  When we returned to the estate, I decided it was time to raise the stakes of our fake marriage and professionally kissed Sakura.  I am happy to report that Haruno Sakuro returned the kiss as platonically as possible.

~~

It was fortuitous that our observer was Ume. Kakashi acted like he didn't notice her presence as he lowered his face to kiss my neck.  We shared a hidden smile as she passed, a blush rising to her face.  I was pleased that are reaction because I liked Ume, and that maybe, just maybe, that Iruka could like her enough for an arranged marriage.

Kakashi and I spent the afternoon reading in his room. The daimyo's library was especially well curated and we decided to take the opportunity of a free afternoon to learn something. We were reading for a few hours before a servant knocked on the door to invite us to speak to the daimyo.  Kakashi and I joined the servant, a rather short child with chin length blonde hair and pale skin. The daimyo's servants were dressed just as impeccably as the man himself, in fancy embroidered uniforms and trousers ending in stockings and leather shoes.

The drawing room was on the first level of the home. The rooms we had been in were the main foyer, to the right, the dining room, straight forward was said to be a large ballroom for parties, and now we were being led to the drawing room, which was apparently on the opposite side of the foyer from the dining room.

The drawing room was exquisitely decorated. The first thing I noticed was the thick carpet my feet sank into a bit walking into the room. It was quite comfortable and I allowed myself to be distracted by the pattern woven into it for a moment. The walls were lined with bookshelves containing many volumes on Lightning country as well as many about other subjects. The middle of the room had was taken up by several pieces of furniture, three large sofas, a couple of wingback chairs and side tables everywhere. Lit lamps provided light from the tables.

The daimyo invited us to sit across from him when we entered. Ume occupied the chair to our left. Two of the daimyo's own guards were at the door and I'm fairly certain there was another guard hidden among the bookshelves in the back of the room, I could detect his chakra but was not able to see him.

The daimyo once again tried to encourage Kakashi into divorcing me for his daughter.  I wanted to punch him for being so rude, and managed a polite smile when he addressed me.  I subtlety dropped Iruka’s name, noticing that Ume leaned forward in interest when I spoke his name.

The daimyo, however waved me off, changing subjects to the party he was going to hold for the summer harvest the next weekend.  He mentioned his intent to announce Ume’s marriage to Kakashi, a sign that he was still hoping to separate the two of us.

Not that we were really together.

~~

The daimyo once again invited us to join him in the evening.  He had the audacity to speak of Sakura as if she wasn’t right in front of him.  Sakura was a true professional and retains her cool, working on our designated sub-mission.  The daimyo once again separated us by requesting I accompany Ume on an errand. 

I obliged, if only to leave his presence.  We rode by carriage, of course, so that Ume could shop.  On the way there, I pulled out the arm cuff I had purchased for Sakura, and asked of Ume’s opinion.  She was delighted that I was seeking her advice and asked about our wedding.

Sakura and I had agreed to describe the ceremony from Icha Icha Tactics chapter four without the fight with the angry in-law, as that is the best wedding in the series.  Sakura had not read Tactics prior to his mission, so I gave purchased a copy for her to reference.  Reciept for Tactics submitted for reimbursement.

During our return to the estate, Ume spoke of her cat the entire time.  It was a very, very long carriage ride back.

~~

The daimyo insisted that Kakashi accompany Ume on an errand.  It seemed the daimyo was up to his little annoying trick to try and get the two alone together. I decided to give in and let it happen. It wasn't as if little Ume was that interested in Kakashi, we had already planted the seed that was Iruka. I kissed Kakashi's cheek before he got up and offered Ume a hand up out of the chair.

The daimyo began to speak to me, inquiring on my skill set and the Godaime’s leadership skills.  I gave him public information and requested to explore the volumes that the daimyo had in his collection. There were so many books, and there had to be something I hadn't read that might deal with medicine or herb or something in Lightning Country. I decided to use the opportunity to my advantage and explored, letting him think that the time Kakashi spent with Ume was in my detriment.

I used the opportunity to see what it was that intrigued him about Kakashi.  He revealed he was skeptical of our match since he had not been aware of it.  During our conversation, I discovered that the daimyo was desperate for an alliance. He had picked Kakashi because he believed him an eternal bachelor and his dedication to our village proved he was an honorable man.  Knowing this, I did not bring up Iruka, knowing the daimyo was much more likely to listen to his daughter than to either of us.

I found a volume on surviving the harsh lightning country and decided to read it that afternoon. I preferred to leave the daimyo's presence.

He grunted as I excused myself.  Kakashi and Ume were nowhere to be seen, either in the gardens or not the rooms I knew of in the house. I assumed that the daimyo had arranged some trivial errand in town to give them an excuse to be together. The garden was rather inviting and I found a comfortable patio under a grouping of shade trees. This was to be my reading spot for the afternoon.

The clicking of the carriage's wheels on the pavement caught my attention as Kakashi and Ume returned to the estate. He escorted the girl inside, then joined me outside in the garden shortly after in good spirits.  When I enquired on his mood, Kakashi revealed that Ume was in possession of a cat named Kitty.  While Ume might be a kind girl, she’s not the brightest, and Kakashi and I plotted for a way to ensure Ume would disagree to the arranged marriage as well

Kakashi and I spent the rest of the day reading in my quarters. We left the door open when it was time to go to bed, should anyone walk by they would see us together.

~~

Sakura and I spent the rest of the evening reading and we made arrangements to share our sleeping quarters for the rest of our stay.  I cuddled with Sakura in a very professional manner that evening.

~~

 

I woke around 8:00 AM, and noticed that the door had been shut. Kakashi was still asleep next to me. I changed my clothes and woke him up.  We joined the daimyo and his daughter downstairs for a morning meal, quite similar to the one the day before. He announced a reminder that the tailor would be by later in just a few minutes. We finished our breakfast and Ume and I were escorted to her chambers to be fitted for gowns for the party the next weekend. This meant Kakashi was left alone with the daimyo downstairs. The man was most likely going to try and convince him to take Ume over me.

The tailor was a small old lady with a hunched over back. She held a large tote and was accompanied by two beautiful assistants dressed in dazzling clothing that looked like it fit like a glove. We were made to stand on a stool and let one of the assistants take our measurements while the tailor woman decided which of her gowns would be best for us. The assistants brought with them a sort of portable wardrobe.

We seemed to be poked and prodded for hours, when it was really just a few long minutes.  It is funny how time slows down when you have to stand still and be stuck with pins.

Ume was fitted for a dark purple gown, embroidered in heavy gold thread. The dress was beautiful and I figured it was so she would be more eye-catching for Kakashi. The tailor paired the dress with strappy slim heels to make her taller and plum shaded stockings. Her gloves were an extremely pale purple. A collar styled necklace featuring flowers and matching earrings topped off her outfit for the event and then it was my turn. The tailor didn't approve of my hair color but of course my pink hair doesn't make matching it or complimenting it easy. She even went so far as to asking if I would dye it for the party. I refused.

We ended up deciding on a beautiful dark red gown. It was strapless on top, but that’s not to say there wasn't enough support, the chemise was a tightly cinched corset with even darker blood red lace sewn into it. The skirt of the gown was a gorgeous silky material, with a gathered bustle at the back. The front was fashioned and pinned in such a way that 'split' to expose the deep reds and creamy lace. It was a positively gorgeous gown. My gloves were a cream color that went to my elbows. They were luckily loose enough I could hide weapons up them should I need to. The stockings underneath the gown were black and my shoes were crimson pumps that would make any man beg. Beg for mercy anyway.

The fitting made me giddy. We were ushered out and Kakashi walked in. He seemed to have a different expression on his face, but it quickly disappeared with a smile and a crinkle of his eye. I watched him as he went into the room, pretending I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I gave a small dramatic sigh as we left down the corridor for Ume’s benefit.

~~

 ~~The next day, Sakura and I were fitted for garments for the upcoming party.  Sakura dressed up is a rare pleasure, and I wondered who would be the one she would marry.~~  

The next day, Sakura and I were fitted for garments for the upcoming party.  Nothing else happened.

~~

It was then that Ume revealed that she had a preference for scars, calling them “very sexy.”  I casually mentioned that Iruka had one that made him look very rugged and handsome.  She was sold. I spent the rest of the day with Ume out in the garden. We took our lunch out there on patio, small cucumber sandwiches and sweets. Little Ume had a bit of a sweet tooth, yet one more difference between her and Kakashi.

 ~~It’s a very good thing that Kakashi is already married to me.~~  

She then invited me to a secluded part of the garden I hadn't seen before. I was surprised I had not seen this part of the garden before.   I sneezed right as we walked in. It was a very strange and not aesthetically pleasing garden; the main feature was a gigantic topiary of an enormous cat. The entire rest of the place was filled with cat tails and catnip. Ume seemed to be very proud of it, and I knew what Kakashi had said was true. There wasn't much going on upstairs with this one.

Ume is very sweet, though.

The daimyo and Kakashi caught up with us at there. I looked at Kakashi to gage his expression and while other’s might not be able to see his reaction, I knew him well enough to see the horror on his face. Kakashi assured the daimyo that the garden was very unique and unforgettable.  I resisted the urge to laugh.

We retired to our respective rooms at 10:00 PM. The daimyo was quite annoying in his constant arranging about Kakashi and Ume being together. But I do believe that we were beginning to make a bit of progress. There were a few times where he mentioned the alliance marriage but didn't refer to Kakashi. We had hope.

The next several days we spent either faking random relationship bits or trying to sell Ume on Iruka. It was up to Ume to convince her father at this point.

~~

The next several days Sakura and I acted like newlyweds.  I present the arm cuff to her on a patio where I knew they daimyo could see us from the balcony above.  All kissing was passionate, but platonic.  Completely platonic.  Sakura was a true professional. 

~~

I finally had the privilege of meeting Ume's cat, Kitty, two days before the party.  Kakashi's summoned Bull to enact his plan to dissuade Ume’s affections.  The giant dog looked very intimidating with his spiked collar and trademark blue jacket. The second Bull saw the fluffy monstrosity that Ume called a cat, he took off.  Kakashi made a fake move to try and stop him and ended up 'tripping'. The dog chased the cat all over the garden and the two made quite a ruckus of the place. It was an interesting time indeed.

Ume was furious.  It turns out she’s a sweet girl when it comes to everything but dogs.

Bull ended up hiding behind me while she was screaming at Kakashi.  I gave him a good scratch behind the ears, he seemed very upset about the whole thing.  Kakashi let Bull poof out of existence when Ume stormed away, a servant following with Kitty in his arms.

I could not resist laughing when they were out of earshot, there was no way Ume _wouldn't_ be speaking with her father now. I had shown Ume the photo of Iruka we requested the previous night, it was quite obvious she was smitten with the man in the photo.

I sincerely hope Iruka had a secret love for cats.

~~

I summoned Bull because he was the most intimidating ninken in my pack.  Ume was not scared of him, and defended her kitten with a fervor I did not know she possessed.  Her kitten, Kitty was traumatized and I knew she would never look at me as a romantic partner again.   As soon as Sakura and I were alone again, I declared our preliminary mission a success.

~~

The party was two days later. We were still expected to come, as we had cost the daimyo quite a bit of money having outfits specifically tailored for us. He was not in a good mood once he heard of the Bull/Kitty fiasco. His daughter had put him in quite an awkward situation.

We spend the time before the party either hiding out in our respective rooms, apologizing to Ume, or meeting with their tailor for last minute fittings.

The party was a huge affair worthy of announcing an engagement, but now it was a party without purpose. Of course we were privy to the knowledge that the daimyo was looking to announce his daughters engagement at this party, but that was no longer an option.  Instead, the daimyo greeted everyone at the door and disappeared when it got in full swing. It was a rather strange chain of events. I spent my night with Ume and Kakashi. Not necessarily out of want, but we didn't know anyone else at the party and didn't want to risk sending the wrong impression to the wrong people.

I drank two offered glasses of champagne, tested for poison of any sort, and made sure Kakashi and Ume did not get out of control either.

The party wound down around 2:00 AM. Kakashi and I fell asleep sometime around 3:00 AM after we made sure Ume had made it back to her room safely. We couldn't have anything bad happen to her or the daimyo would be very upset. (Even if it wasn't necessarily our responsibility to watch out for her, we made sure of her safety).

~~

The party was a small affair, mostly attended by people related to the carriage business.  Lightning’s daimyo is less flamboyant that Fire Country, it was clear that only his most trusted friends were invited.

Sakura and I escorted Ume to her room, then went straight to bed after the party ended at two o clock.  If anything happened after that time that was less than professional, I don’t recall it.

~~

I awoke the next day at 7:00 AM. I packed all of my belongings and went to check on Kakashi. He had been doing the same. We were both under the impression that the daimyo would be kicking us out that day.

We joined Ume and her father for breakfast that morning and were pleasantly surprised at his news.

This is the best recollection I have of the conversation:

"Ume and I have been having the most interesting conversations over the last few days and this morning I made my decision. It seems that Ume and I feel that you, Kakashi would not make a good match for her. She has informed me that she would be very unhappy in the relationship and I just couldn't make my little girl do something like that. Be that as it may, I am still very interested in creating  a match for Ume, and it has come to my attention that we all are thinking of an entirely different match, and one that would be _most_ advantageous for both parties."

I knew our mission had been completed with I looked in Ume’s direction and saw she had the photograph of Iruka in her hand.  The daimyo then handed us a scroll to give to the Godaime. We finished the meal and picked up our bags from the hall just outside the dining room. Mine felt heavier than when I had packed it that morning. Ume made sure to meet us in the foyer and told me she had packed our tailor clothing as well.  She wish us well in our marriage and confirmed that she had requested Iruka as her partner.

Ume’s greatest wish is that Iruka likes cats.  I hope that he does as well.

Kakashi and I smiled at her and conveyed our goodbyes. A carriage escorted us out of the estate and we were on our way home.

We decided to take the same route leaving as we had coming into the country.

~~

The night after the party, Sakura and I packed our things.  As we bid the daimyo goodbye, he gave us a scroll to deliver to the Godaime.  A private conversation between Sakura and Ume confirmed the success of our sub-mission.

Nothing eventful happened on the way home.

Signature:

Hatake Kakashi

~~

We arrived at the Konoha gates at 7:00 PM August 31st.

Items purchased for mission: One hawk for messaging, three pairs of undergarments, and one box of condoms.  Receipts have been submitted for reimbursement.

Signature:

Haruno Sakura

~

Tsunade laughed as she placed both of the scrolls down.  While she knew Kakashi and Sakura wouldn’t be able to keep up the fake marriage for longer than a month, her reasoning was completely wrong.


End file.
